Have you ever shut down during conflict, gone emotionally numb under pressure, or found yourself unable to take action even if you want to? If you have, you may be living with a learned freeze response to trauma, a survival strategy that may have once kept you safe, but now keeps you stuck.
The Freeze Response to Trauma: How It Protected You Then, and How to Move Past It Now
This is the third of five blogs in my series of understanding your trauma responses and it has taken me nearly a year to write! No surprise, as the freeze response is in fact my own personal response!
Trauma responses are often a result of having experienced a trigger to a traumatic memory which may or may not be in your conscious awareness.
What Is the Freeze Response to Trauma?
The freeze response to trauma, like fight and flight, is one of our nervous system’s automatic ways of dealing with danger. While fight or flight reactions may be more widely known, freeze may be more common in people who experienced childhood trauma or long-term emotional stress.
When neither fighting nor escaping feels possible, your brain and body may seek escape and go into freeze mode. You become still, numb, dissociated, or emotionally detached. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I was referred to as ‘away with the fairies’, being a ‘space cadet’ or referred to as ‘dolly daydream’ as my kind, but frustrated primary school teacher attempted to regain my attention!
After many years of therapy and training, I now understand and respect it was my body’s way of protecting me by reducing risk when survival seemed impossible.
Why the Freeze Response to Trauma Made Sense at the Time
For many people, especially those who experienced trauma in childhood, freezing was a necessary and life-saving adaptation. Perhaps as a child, you couldn’t speak up, defend yourself, or leave the situation; so your nervous system found another way…it froze.
In those moments, the freeze response to trauma helped you survive by making you less noticeable, shutting down overwhelming feelings, or dissociating from the pain (either physical or emotional). It was a brilliant, protective effort by your body and brain, so let’s take a moment to acknowledge that innate genius!
“What once kept you safe may now be preventing you from fully living.”
How It Might Be Holding You Back Now
The issue is, the freeze response to trauma doesn’t always switch off when the threat is gone. In adulthood, it can show up in ways that keep you stuck, disconnected from your life, unable to truly connect in meaningful relationships and can prevent you from reaching your potential as, just when you thought you were ready to make progress, you become overwhelmed and shut down. Self sabotage is a familiar nemesis to those who are living in a freeze response.
Here are some of the symptoms you may be experiencing:
- Struggling with procrastination, indecision, or feeling ‘numb’ when action is needed
- Going emotionally numb in stressful or intimate situations…like it may as well be happening to someone else
- Avoiding conflict, expression, or visibility, even when it’s safe to be seen. (I personally used to find myself withdrawing from eye contact during the aftermath of an argument or disagreement and during therapy, it emerged this was something I used to do as a child. I would cover my eyes with my hands and refuse to look at either of my parents.)
- Feeling detached from your body, emotions, or goals
- A lingering sense of being stuck, disconnected, or overwhelmed
You may find friends or partners become frustrated with you due to cancelling plans at the last minute or your chronic indecisiveness and you likely become frustrated with yourself for getting in your own way. What once kept you safe may now be preventing you from fully living.
It could be easy to feel hopeless in this stuck, lost and remote space. However, what I found on my own healing journey was self-awareness and self-compassion were the two most valuable components in breaking free.
Hypo or hyper arousal?
The freeze response is typically associated with hypoarousal, whereas fight and flight are linked to hyperarousal.
The hyperarousal responses of Fight or Flight is due to the nervous system being highly activated. Heart rate increases, muscles tense, adrenaline surges. You may feel anxious, panicky, angry, restless, or hypervigilant. Your body is preparing to either confront the threat (fight) or escape it (flight).
The Hypoarousal response of Freeze is a result of the nervous system shutting down. Heart rate slows, energy drops and there is a sensation of disconnection from the body/emotions. You may feel foggy, frozen, spaced out, passive, exhausted, or emotionally numb. Your body is protecting you by immobilising, often in situations where action feels impossible or unsafe.
That said, trauma responses aren’t always cleanly separated; they can overlap. For example, someone might shift from hyperarousal (panic) into hypoarousal (shutdown) if the stress continues or intensifies. It is likely you experience a variety of fight, flight, freeze (fawn and flop, which I will cover in my next two blogs) responses to highly stressful situations. We all have a built in survival ability to adapt and evolve depending on the circumstances. However there will likely be one response that you identify with more strongly.
What You Can Do to Gently Move Past the Freeze Response to Trauma
Healing the freeze response to trauma isn’t about forcing yourself to ‘snap out of it.’ It’s about gently creating safety within your body and nervous system so that it no longer needs to default to shutdown.
1. Acknowledge It with Compassion
Recognising when your freeze response is activated is the first step. Start by noticing what situations cause you to shut down and remind yourself that this is a survival response, not a personal failing.
2. Reconnect with Your Body
3. Move Slowly and Kindly
Trying to push past the freeze can overwhelm your system further. Go at your own pace. Therapy or trauma-informed support can help you navigate this gently, with someone co-regulating alongside you.
4. Rebuild Your Sense of Choice
Each time you take a small action, say “no,” ask for what you need, or follow through on something that matters, you signal to your nervous system that it’s safe to move, speak, and engage.
5. Seek Trauma-Informed Support
“Self-awareness and self-compassion are the two most valuable components in breaking free.”
You don’t have to do this alone. A therapist familiar with the freeze response to trauma can help you explore the roots of it, build safety in your body, and reclaim your voice, choice, and vitality.
If you recognise yourself in the freeze response to trauma, there is nothing wrong with you. You’re not broken. Your body found the best way it could to keep you safe in a dangerous, overwhelming world.
You deserve to feel safe, connected, and fully alive.
Obviously, healing is not linear and there are many times I need to take a moment to remind myself to be kind to myself when I fall back into the habit of ‘freeze’. However, instead of falling into a self-critical pit of despair as I used to, I take a pit stop. These pauses are fewer and further between now as I live my life with self-compassion.
If you’re ready to begin the process of reclaiming your life, I’m here to walk alongside you. Please do reach out and contact me on 07473241144 or fill the contact form for a no obligation consultation.
